Since coming back to Colorado life has surely changed. I feel so thankful to be back and I also feel in a constant state of reflection.
Lately I’ve been thinking about God’s timing and how my life has played out thus far. Sometimes, I wonder why I didn’t settle down earlier. I used to have it all planned out in my head. Marry young, but definitely not as young as the others in my family. Children by 27. Work part-time and be a stay at home mom the rest of the time. Every once in a while it makes me a little sad… especially when people ask why I’m single or if I’m married or if I have kids. But most of the time, I feel very lucky.
Today I find myself laughing because God had other plans… and has other plans for me. I’ve been blessed to have fallen in love not once but twice, with two totally different men, and learn so much about life, myself and God in the process of struggling through relationships, school and adult hood in my 20’s. Today I find it funny that I’m finally single and on my own at 30 – exploring the odd world of “dating” for the first time ever, forming the best friendships I’ve ever had with people who value the same things I do… and just enjoying this one life we get.
And I find myself understanding my Father more than ever. God truly knows the desires of our hearts. There is no where else I would rather be at this stage in my life than in such an incredible place where I can live out my passion in life – being outside and being independent. He knew this is what I’d need. To be independent, to have my own career, my own life, my own struggles, my own “family”. He put Zainey in my life just a couple days before the hardest time period of my life (my break up with Andrew) and she’s helped me revive my beaten down soul through nature.
I thought about this a lot today while I sat in church and this evening on a long, quiet, peaceful night walk. As the sun set over the mountains in my neighborhood I couldn’t help but feel so blessed.